On things we should hold sacred... Yet don't

I often wonder why marriages and relationships in my generation don't work out anymore.... It's not that people don't get married or don't get into relationships. Because they do. Too often and too easily actually. Getting there seems to be the easy part while staying (more often than not) seems to be the fatal challenge.

But why? I really think that it has a lot to do with the "independent" nature of people today. No one needs anyone for anything. And even in the off event that you start to feel like you need a person, you go out of your way to make sure that person doesn't feel needed lol. It's usually subconscious but it's still funny. It begins and perpetuates a cycle. And ultimately it is that need to remain detached that ends relationships. Once you recognize that you don't really "need" that person... Or anyone for that matter... It becomes easier to walk away. It becomes more difficult to be humble and express humility.

Interesting thing is though... When you love someone.... I mean REALLY love someone... Something in you should change. I don't necessarily mean change the way they do when you start any other habit. And I don't mean change in response to comfort. I mean CHANGE. Things you used to enjoy don't hold as much fulfillment if they can't include that person in some way. You find yourself wondering how you felt so complete without this person when now that they are here you can't stand the image of a life without them.
I don't mean to say that you can't live your own life and enjoy things outside of their presence. But your life is a better, happier place because they are there. DESPITE the fact that there is nothing convenient about it. You have to shift things to make them fit. But you do so, gladly. You have to work at understanding them. But you are happy to do so because their happiness is linked to yours.

But these are not lessons for the immature. And it isn't something that can be rushed or forced. It is a partnership that people have to work at every day. But they do it... Or they did it... Because it was worth it. Because the return on investment was great. And that's the thing about love. The person you love, in that way, gives you something no one else can. As it should be. It is intimate. It is personalized. It is special. But if you don't let it develop, if you don't nurture it, it is sure to deteriorate like any other precious, sacred thing.

And when people brush past it, gloss over it, give up on it, walk away from it, it ceases to exist. And that's what I think it is. People don't hold love, commitment, values sacred anymore. Life is now every man and woman for him or herself. And it shows. It truly shows.

One of the most awesome things I've ever heard a man say about his wife was that she is the best thing about him. She smiled back and commented that his words were interesting because he makes her better. They are an older couple. Together for over forty years. And I'm sure they have been through it. But they still hold hands. They still laugh together. They still give each other butterflies. He doesn't feel like any less of a man for recognizing that he doesn't deserve her, and yet is blessed with her anyway. It's almost like he's driven by that. And she has no problem acknowledging him as the man and as her everything. She loses nothing because she has it all. They appreciate one another. They encourage one another. And most importantly, they are best friends.

What they have is rare. But it's so warming to be around. And it's clear that they work on it daily.

I want that one day. But the thing is... You have to find someone else who wants it too. I don't think it's impossible. But it's definitely a feat. Especially in a time where it makes more sense to find something better than to stay cultivate something that will last.

Meh. More to come =)