The Truth About Power Couples....

"I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together...Baby I'm good all by myself... But Baby you, you make me better... You make me better..... You plus me it equals better math. Your boy's a good look but she's my better half..."


Lyrics from, arguably, THE POWER COUPLE ANTHEM...

This blog has been a long-time coming. But recently... about a month and a half ago... I realized that people CLEARLY have very different views about what it means to be a power couple... Then I thought about this song and realized... Maybe not (lol). People are just stupid maybe... I was approached by an old friend... And essentially questioned about the possibility of us joining forces so to speak... and being on our "Power couple ish" as he so eloquently put it. Now, there was a TON wrong with this proposition. But I'll remove several of the ones that don't really apply to the topic like the fact that we haven't even considered romantic involvement since 2005 as a viable option, or the fact that he has a baby's mom and very real baby's momma drama that will probably never die, or the fact that we don't talk regularly at all and even THIS communicative bit was fluke.... lol those are just some of the reasons my response was an immediate no and my levels of irritation spiked... lol MORE than even these things is the fact that he is NOT one half of a power couple on his own... at all...

But, because I feared that my reaction may have been a bit, harsh and accelerated... I decided to really think about what my views are on what it means to be a member of a power couple and what a power couple in general looks like and consists of.... I think that what everyone views as a power couple really thrives on surface material  when in many of those cases, the two aren't a power couple at all. I also think that usually a couple that actually is a power couple, likely does not see itself as one. The two parties likely see themselves as two hard-working individuals who want their lives and relationship to prosper and therefore do what it takes in order to make that a reality.

So with that said...I think the first step to being a power couple is being an actual couple.  A healthy functioning, mutually supportive, mutually beneficial, honest to God couple. And I really think that even defining that might give some folks a run for their money. But to me... a healthy couple [for me and through my eyes] is one built of two individuals who share similar and complimentary views on friendship, romantic relationship participation, exclusivity, support, appreciation, consideration, and all of the expressions thereof. They support one another. They take pride in one another. They protect one another from themselves as well as the world at large. They take care of and invest in one another. They are openly communicative and hold one another accountable for actions and words. They are honest with one another and honest with themselves. They are appreciative, understanding, and committed to the goal of maintaining these goals and principles and do what it takes to keep things working. This alone is not the basis for two people being a part of a power couple. However these are, or should be the foundational bits of a couple in general. Not saying that this does not require work, checking of egos, and the occasional mistake. But overall, this is a portrait of what a strong, healthy couple looks like.

Now a power couple... Is a culmination of attributes that in many ways surpasses a general couple (if you will) while still paying respect to many of the foundational necessities. For instance, in any couple, each is dependent on the other and should be. However, in a power couple, I feel like each individual really could stand alone... yet chooses (wisely) not to. BUT the things is, usually we think of these as our alpha males and alpha females adjoined in some sort of union which may or may not be the case. I think that in most power couples, there is still the same sense of natural hierarchy that exists and should exist in any other situation. Here, I am clearly speaking about male-female relations butI'm not being exclusive. Not intentionally anyway. But my point is that in a power couple-esque relationship... The rules of engagement should still be the same. The woman should still defer to or submit to her man... The man should still be driven by making her happy and comfortable and the two should still be committed to and faithful to one another... To me regardless of funds and increased marketability (which being powerful, successful, and the like often brings), it is that relentless hold to the basics of a healthy relationship that truly defines a power couple's status in my eyes. I'm good alone, but you make me better. You make me want to be better. I could probably be with tons of other people, but I only have eyes for you. It's that possession of power without the abuse thereof that makes it sexy and alluring. But that, for me, only exists if its real.

Now the logistics of what is required of each to even qualify is on a sliding scale. You could be the Obamas or you could be any other couple in the world. I'm not sure I would classify two people who are barely whole themselves as a power couple. A couple, maybe... But a power couple...? Doubtful.

The moral: Just because two people seem to be young, successful, and progressive in nature... and are romantically involved... They are not automatically a power couple. It takes more than success. It requires commitment to the commitment despite the space and opportunity to do otherwise.

untitled... 2.1.13

I am always appalled by my ability to fool the people around me into thinking that everything is fine...
But I also appreciate the people who regardless of how large my grin, or how funny my jokes (because lets be honest... sometimes I'm a riot)... Recognize me and my bull.

Don't get me wrong, every now and again we can all be completely wrapped up in our own mess and be oblivious to that of others. Alternatively, I sometimes would much rather help someone else out of their mess than to entertain my own... But I'm odd that way...

Regardless, though, there are so many people that I know that are genuinely and legitimately clueless when something is off about me... And it really just makes me appreciate the very few in that other group all the more... I guess it usually just hurts because it is often someone who SHOULD know better... who should know YOU better... and when it becomes clear that they do not... You are forced to place them in a category that is different than the one they were in before... Tough decision usually and one that most [especially me] are never really eager to make...

What is even more interesting... is that of the VERY SMALL circle of 'very important people' that I have... the ones who are in the realm of oblivion could probably read this and not even realize that I mean them... I have two friends that are genuinely just the same across the board in general. LOL They let me be me and are always available, even if I don't say "I am in need". And so they don't really count. I then have another two, maybe three.... ye... Three I guess... lol Who no matter where I am or what I am doing... They are hip and will call me out on it. One will essentially say... or literally say "Listen *expletive that starts with a B*, I know something is up and I know you don't want to discuss it right now, but at some point you're going to get it together and you're going to tell me... And when that time comes I will be waiting. Make it fast" lol! And as annoying as it is... I appreciate her for that. The others will usually be able to tell by very faint changes in energy or who knows what... But they will also essentially call me out on it and give me space to express (inside of or outside of my own timeframe), and that will be that.

It is just the most interesting thing in the world to me... Because I have always felt that when something or someone matters, you make it clear that it matters... You pay attention to it... you invest in it... and you make your intention to do so known... That expression may be blatant or not... But it is always there and it is always clear...

Ultimately I guess I don't think the others don't care about me... But I do think that ultimately they care MORE about themselves... And I can't fault them for that. I can simply reposition them, and adjust my priorities accordingly. I'm sick of driving myself crazy over people and situations that would not and do not do the same for me. [[shrug]]