On Vacation Homes...

Hi friends!!! It's been a minute! I've been living life and becoming re-acclimated with what exactly that means post-partum. I'm loving motherhood, but with it has come a series of foreseen and unforeseen  challenges that I was just not prepared for... When I first found out that I was with child, I am very proud to say that the very first thing that i started to do was pray. I was so prayerful through my pregnancy about each and everything... Every single step that I made and interestingly (or not) I felt so very close to God... But then motherhood kicked in, and school, and the proverbial juggling act that I have now been maintaining for the past ten months... And as a result I have not been praying, or engaging in any me-time as much as I need to. And of course,  once again, I started following myself through the situation instead of allowing God to guide me.... MISTAKE!

Anyway, in my recent ponderings, I was reminded of this guy I used to date. We are great friends now so I'm sure he won't mind me borrowing this excerpt of a thought from him. One of the greatest things about that situation was the s.... Conversation (lol). I made a funny but truly, for someone so marked by their veil of ignorant behavior, I was always so amazed by the in-depth talks we were always able to have about pretty much anything... One day we had a conversation about video vixens, I believe, and he made the most amazing analogy. He was a womanizer at the time (lol) and I asked if he could see himself wifing a real live vixen. His reply was shockingly brilliant, in my opinion... He said "Nah. You can vacation in Miami but you'd never want to live there, think about it..." I was FLOORED by this. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made... I could even deepen the analogy and talk about the concepts of retirement. But I'll digress on that... Anyway he went on to say that a vacation is fun because its just that and it's all you should ever really grow to expect of them. He also asked me if I'd ever gone on a vacation that outwore its welcome. Of course my answer was yes, we all have... The point being that it happens when you spend too much time on vacay... You start to miss home and grow tired of all of the "fun" vacation has to offer because its not realistic. Especially when you factor in that real people have to work to afford vacations and therefore you at least need to get back to real life to be able to live... But there's also the fact that vacation is only really meant to be a temporary escape... Never really meant to be permanent...

Now if we apply this concept to dating and relationships, which was the original intent... I'm sure we have all been guilty of this faux pas.... However I try to make less and less of these mistakes as time goes on... Dating is meant to be enjoyed... You meet a person and in the beginning it's all sweet... They are full of vibrant conversation... You're wining and dining one another, spoiling each other with attention and affection... Physical chemistry is great, they answer all of your must know questions perfectly, and they seem to accept all the things you hate about yourself lol... You're on vacation. They take your mind off of all the stupid things life is throwing at you by providing a distraction... An escape. And of course this sounds like the beginning of what could be a wonderful relationship because when you're young, you truly believe that fun and temporary happiness is all you need in a relationship.... But when you grow a bit... You should recognize that it requires more.....

A home... When you're the purchaser, is an investment.... It's costly, but worth it considering everything that it stands to provide for you and yours.... And the older I get, the wiser (hopefully) I become, I view relationships as investments as well.... They can be costly ... Time, money, energy.... EMOTIONS... All things that you never truly get back once they are spent... Some can be rebuilt or re-earned.... But with each exchange, you're never exactly back to where you were to begin with.... The return on investment, though, can be great if you let it... Just like a home provides certain things (shelter, security, warmth, support, refuge, etc), a relationship can as well (love, refuge, support,safety/security, warmth, etc). However, just like when making a choice in real estate... One should be aware of what is being agreed upon when selecting relationships. This feels similar to a previous blog I've posted so to not strain that analogy I'll get to the point. 

If you're rich enough... FINE! Move to Miami, or better yet buy a vacation home there... But if you're like me and you're finding yourself choosier and choosier in your old age... AND you see no point in spending money on a place or investing in a place that's only giving you temporary relief on occasion.... Then think about what you need in a home. I'm also going to make a disclaimer and say that in no way am I suggesting frequent vacationing if you've already made a decision to buy (or even rent to own). Different blog for a different day... Plus yall know how I feel about cheating. 

What I am saying, though, is don't invest in someone or something that's fleeting. My next home will be sturdy, secure (emotionally and physically) yet forgiving, made of honest materials, safe, and warm. It will be able to last through trials and tribulations because it's foundation will not be rickety. And it will live its mom! 😭😭😭 (insider). 

No but seriously, I have made the mistake of purchasing a vacation home before. Trying to make a long term investment with something (someone) that was likely only meant to be seasonal in my life. Though it will take prayer to avoid that mistake again, I also plan to pay close attention to what I'm being shown. People always show us exactly who they are... We just have to learn to pay attention. 

Anyway, that's all for now (I think...). 

Love you guys. This felt good. 

-Nesh