Learning so much on the road to becoming me... Enjoying the journey

This is a brief invitation into the innerworkings of my brain... Some words are insights into my private thoughts and emotions while others are humorous and carefree... Everything here is my opinion and from my perspective and is in no way meant to offend, harm, or persecute. I merely needed an outlet for the tons of concepts flowing through my head daily. Feel free to comment, but please do so with respect for others as well as yourself.







Other than that... Happy reading :) -A.T.M.







Friday, August 10, 2012

Reasonable Doubt

I've been having some pretty powerful conversations lately that have been sending my thoughts into overload. I have also been having experiences that have been causing me to question the motives of some who I THOUGHT had my best interests at heart. But recently, I have also been paying close attention to my own actions, as well as those of others to better understand why we do the things we do. And I have been wondering if we, ourselves, are really asking ourselves that very important question of "why?" I try not to do things just to do them, because that is never a strong enough reason to me. "Because I enjoy it" is only okay for certain situations. But ultimately, I like to be able to justify my behavior, if for no one else's benefit, for my own. And yet, I just can't seem to get away from the craziness of others if my life depended on it. I'm beginning to think it's just me... though some of the scenarios my friends have run into are quite comical yet utterly pointless as well. I just wish more people would pay attention to the actions and messages they are sending through those actions. It would save so much time and ignorance if they would.


 Take for instance that ex who is going out of his way to let you know that his world is ending because you're not together anymore...and yet is selling himself all over online dating sites just itching to get at some random floozy... posting shirtless pics, fabricating his interesting-ability, adding excitement to his life to appear more worth while... Why go through the trouble of trying to guilt-trip me when you're clearly putting in WORK to bag youngins in the background...

 Or better yet that side-piece that swears up and down he knows he's a side piece... and yet will literally hold up traffic ducking in his driver's side seat hoping you don't spot him with the chick that he seems convinced you don't know he's (also) smashin!


And ladies aren't exempt... there's the super self-righteous Do the right thing chick who invites you over to her place... sets the tone for you two to get it in... then is CLEARLY irritated when you don't... But Blows on you for treating her like a cheap shot of poon the moment you text her anytime after 11:00pm...


In all of these instances... the person described is clearly confused by either the way that they feel or the actions that should be taken toward those feelings... But I bet you it is because they do not understand what true introspection is. They are too afraid to challenge themselves and ask why they are behaving accordingly,likely because they are afraid of the answer they will receive... At this point, I'm not entirely sure that I even have a point... I'm likely just super irritated with the way that full-grown adults believe it is acceptable to behave... Because they cannot deal with their own issues, insecurities, inferiority complexes ,etc. ... they find it acceptable to infringe upon the happiness of others until they finally figure it out... But to them I say...With strength and integrity... AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! Live your life... be accountable to yourself... and stop blaming others or passing the buck for the things that you haven't had a chance to take care of... Because otherwise you're just wasting valuable space and time that could be spent on something more useful... like tree planting... or cleaning the pacific...


 I dunno... I mean I kinda get it... The ex is probably unsure of his real feelings about the situation and doesn't wanna accept responsibility for his role in the demise of the relationship... OR ... he may just be manipulative and may be using every angle he can to cause pain to his current significant other... Either way.. his actions and words are in conflict and therefore he doesn't get the benefit of the doubt.. There's a lie somewhere in there... and after a while, if he doesn't ask himself the tough questions and get to the bottom of things...why would anyone else waste their time trying to...? The actions here destroy any hope of a positive spin on the thought process... BIG TIME... The side piece that doesn't know he's a side piece may be trying to back pocket the chick he's ducking and dodging when other yeezies are around. Saving her for when he finally wants to settle down and actually be serious about someone... however, he underestimates the chick big time. Clearly she knows him...knows his car...knows what he looks like... So behaving that way only makes him look like a crazy, shady, shaggy-haired liar... which is OKAY because she's probably not considering him forreal anyway... But again... he isn't thinking before he behaves and it shows through his actions... No reason for reasonable doubt there because the actions overshadow the thought process ... BIG TIME... And then there's the chick... I think we all know what her problem is... She's insecure... She wants this dude to desire her... but is conflicted by what that means for her brains, her stature, her worth... And is that HIS problem...?? NO! It's hers... but because she has it all figured out... she's not going to ask herself the important questions and will therefore continue to lose...

 LOOK! 7_7 Life is just too short for the games, for the bs... for the excess baggage... Grow up... find what makes you happy... Do THAT... and stop bothering me.

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